My grandmother died in 1951, but her birthday is  coming up, and that always causes me to reminisce.
I remember  most, the jewel in the crown of grandmotherly advice, occurred when I was only  about 13,  We were sitting in a park .
She told me that one day, I  would find a wonderful woman and start my own family.

"And always  remember this thing," she said. "Be sure you marry a woman with small  hands."
"How come, Grandma?" I asked her.
She  answered in her soft Irish voice. "Makes your dick look  bigger."

Kinda brings a tear to your eye, doesn't it  

As he finally got inside the door, after a full 5 minutes of moving like a person using a Wii controller, trying to get the car alarm to set pressing that little button again and again! He was pleasantly struck by the warm air, apart from a few sidelights the place was in silence. Wandering into the kitchen for tea, he sees his mug there, with a T-bag in it and a spoon, set ready for him. He checks his PC for messages when he hears the approach of a small dog. Up she bounds, managing to run forward while travelling sideways, not unlike drifting! He picked her up and she attacked him with her tongue, any available bit will do, slurping in his ear, while he in mock disgust asks if she has been eating shit or licking her arse at all?

The answer, if it could be given that a dog could answer, would probably be in the affirmative!

JOY!

Well he thought, time to get washed up, it's a do nothin sorta night, so that's what he did.

May your god go with you

This morning, I dropped off LaLa (my little Lupo)  at Sam's work, he is looking over it to see if there is anything he can fix before it goes in for the dreaded MOT  test!!!! Dat Dat DAAAAAAAA!!

I took his old Nissan home with me. On the way home, the seat back just dropped right back?? When I got home the key wont come out of the ignition!

The alarm is set so not truly a problem at home, but fuck me!  I since found out there is a little button to press at the same time as removing the key! What a wonderful sense of humour those mo fo's truly do have!

So, a quiet moment. All other residents were in hibernation mode and I stepped outside because it's actually quite bright and warm.

Standing in the back garden, looking down onto the new block paving being laid at The Manor! £££ I looked up to see a tiny Wren which flew to the very topmost twig of the old tree where he alighted and commenced his repertoire.

telling the whole world (as far as he is concerned) that this is his patch.

After a few minutes of this delightful  performance, he had crap and pissed off! hehehe. The first old tree on the right is where the dirty little bastard dropped his guts, charmin isn't it? Pffffft

Also a quick update from the pit lane, The Carlton still wont start, so they are takin it down off the bricks (no the ramps, that's it yes. Hehehehe) tryin it tonite poor buggers, it's always the last thing isn't it? He is just dying to drive it again!

That's ma boy!!

Ah well, must be off, pip pip old thing!

A tired-looking dog wandered into the yard.  I could tell from his collar
and well-fed belly that he had a home.

He followed me into the house, down the hall, and fell asleep in a corner.

An hour later, he went to the door, and I let him out.

The next day he was back, resumed his position in the hall, and slept for an
hour.  This continued for several weeks.

Curious, I pinned a note to his collar: “Every afternoon your dog comes to
my house for a nap.”

The next day he arrived with a different note pinned to his collar:

“He lives in a home with five children—he’s trying to catch up on his
sleep. Can I come with him tomorrow?”

Ahhhhhh.

Now, onto the Sammo Carly; as you will see the car is getting close to firing up/

Bear with me if you don't quite know what all the fuss is about on this whole petrol thing, but when all those dirty bits get put back right............... Then you got a sweet song. A straight six bouncing off the rev limiter. He is really serious about taking this the Nerburgring (I think thats wrong but hey, I'm tellin the story here) Because he knows all 192 corners and how to drive them from the games, he is convinced that it would be a great thing to do,  it would sure be some fun!

Rook up tree (lots of small branches)

Too dark for more (cold too!)

I just left Sammo as he was getting into the bath, previously he had been telling me about the time when the house next door but one, caught fire and burned right out at 2am! I could not believe that he never told me, because he had the whole event caught on his security camera tape. how do you forget to tell me about that!? Bless him, he's lovely really.

Anyhoo "clouds" I took a few pics of a great cloud formation with a clear blue sky to one side. I was driving and driving, keeping an eye on this formation until finally I got to a spot where it was wide open and I could pull of the lane (lanes, very small roads, only wide enough for a bicycle) hehehehe . So I leapt out and popped a few off! so to speak! I hope you like em!

The darker area is like cream, thicker and denser.

Isn't it gorgeous?

This formation was very large and didn't change much so must have been reasonably substantial!

Sunrise just up the road, this is dedication this is! On me one day off!

Typical ! Tail is blur and the ears are flappin about! Lucy, ahhh.

Sammo is up to his biceps in engine these days! I have included some shots in the theme of petrol porn which I hope you will enjoy.

There were about 6 of us round at poor Dave an Jen's place (they have very kindly allowed Sammo and crew to occupy the place and supply coffee an stuff so big thanks to them!! (He will be taking them out) Not in the gangster sense you understand) as recompense for the inconvenience of it all!.

This is Carly, you will see her most intimate shots!

Candid stuff indeed!! Well Carly's head came off to reveal a strange picture with 1 valve getting hotter than all the rest? A cam chain  (no belts here, belts are for pussies) tensioner  had self-distructed (probably after a burnout) but hadn't caused anything more than a loss of power! Good old bulletproof iron!

There is the proud father, doing something or other, she is looking sweet, new head unit.

Check out the crank, "upshots are always a challenge!"

This little shed is packed! All car and mini moto stuff. Special oils and so on.

A straight six head from the Holden dayz! (pun intended)

This sump is now all cleaned and sprayed crinkle black Hammerite.

I wetstoned the 3.0 Injection alloy casing! Neat or what!

Crinkle black finish form Hammerite!

A Queensland farmer got in his pick up and drove to a neighbouring farm and knocked at the farmhouse door.

A young boy, about nine, opened the door."Is your Dad home"? the farmer asked.

"Sorry mate, he isn't" the boy replied. "He went into town."

"Well," said the farmer, "Is your mum here?" "No, sir, she's not here either.

She went into town with Dad."

"How about your brother, Greg? Is he here?" "He went with Mum and Dad."

The farmer stood there for a few minutes, shifting from one foot to the other and mumbling to
himself."Is there anything I can do for ya?" the boy asked politely.

"I know where all the tools are if you want to borrow one. Or maybe, I could take a message for Dad."

"Well," said the farmer uncomfortably, "I really wanted to talk to your Dad. It's about your

brother Greg getting my daughter pregnant."

The boy considered for a moment."You'd have to talk to Dad about that," he finally conceded.

"If it helps you any, I know that Dad charges $200 for the bull and $150 for the pig, but I really
don't know how much he gets for Greg."

XBow anyone?

Hi, the pictures here are for petrol heads to dribble over ok? Sammo took them and I wanted to share a few with you; hope you like em!

Below as promised, Great Header!

The mini below has the engine in the back, it's large.

A bike engine in a spaceframe chassis!

Hyabusa with added Pssssssst!

V8 as they should look!

If ya like em please let me know, I think each of things has an intrinsic beauty in itself, without the fact that they go like fuck as well!

Morning! I love it when a new understanding occurs. I asked a question of a friend via messenger as to what was meant by "going postal"; I was full of snot and flu stuff yesterday so I went to bed early not knowing that my friend had replied to my question. So this morning (some 14 hours later) I was able to continue the conversation (from my end at least) even though her head is now on the pillow! Ya gotta love it!

http://www.slide.com/r/hD6DvyAOxD9ClUhvUpVcUMABW9QzpGnQ

The link above is lovely short video story so watch and listen, it will make you feel a little better about the world I hope?

Isn't nature wonderful? This may be a very much overused phrase; but every now and then it is just perfect.

I am fed up, with the apparently limitless variations on "Cold, Wet, and Windy" currently provided by Mother Nature.

Grey grey grey, dull dull dull. Even I can't find anything to take a picture of !

A day of winter gold sunshine would be lovely, I don't care if it's cold as long as there is that fabulous light around.

Having said that when I pulled up outside "Chez Dodge" today there before me, in broad daylight was an adult Fox! Sniffing about the place he limped off up the road, I have seen him before, but not in daylight, he's got a gammy leg; doesn't appear to have too much of a detrimental effect on his well-being as he looks well fed. Hell, Urban Foxes are well fed let's face it!

Remember, Winter Gold Sunshine, if you see some, send it to me!

Below is a small creature going for broke!

Help! There's a rug chasing me!!!

I got 4 feet and none of them is on the ground right now.

Marge: Homer! There's someone here who can help you...
Homer: Is it Batman?
Marge: No, he's a scientist.
Homer: Batman's a scientist?!
Marge: It's not Batman!

Homey, I lay at your feet! Your humble servant.

(great last line by Marge though)

My hero. Does he make you smile? Why of course he does!

WooHoo!

This time she went out after a few days of rain and met up with all her mates, which she hadn't managed to for a few days. Harry was apparently very attentive but Loos kept her tail wrapped so tight around his main area of interest that he got fed up and had a good romp in the mud with her instead. See, it's not so different an the animal world really is it? Hehehe

So take a look at the state of her "Waxed jacket" the dark brown bits are what the colour is supposed to be! Her body was still white but her legs were red/brown from the clay type mud around here.

Now that is a nice "Little black dress!! Cheeky huh?

Is this a fabulous image or am I just getting too old?  Careful how you answer that!

This is one of my favourite photo's EVER. Just perfect.

Priceless every one!

The 2007 Darwin Awards
Yes, it's that magical time of year again when the Darwin Awards are bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us.
Here is the glorious winner:
1.
When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach , California , would-be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.
And now, the honourable mentions:
2.
The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat-cutting machine and, after a little shopping around, submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a finger. The chef's claim was approved.
3.
A man who shovelled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.
4.
After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.
5.
An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.
6.
A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer... $15. [If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime committed?]
7.
Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.
8.
As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."
9.
The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti , Michigan , at 5 A.M., flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away. [*A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER]
10.
When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.
In the interest of bettering mankind, please share these with your friends and family... unless of course one of these individuals by chance is a distant relative or long-lost friend. In that case, be glad they are distant and hope they remain lost.
*** Remember... They walk among us!!! ***

No that's not like Tess of the Durbavilles or whoever she was! I saw that the manor house next to us was having his chimney stacks rebuilt/dressed or whatever the proper term for sorting out chimbleys is!

So I decided it would be a great vantage point for photo's and set off up the ladders with Dmans camera in it's bag round my neck. I had waited for a nice clear day when I could have got some great long distance shots but this was the best I got! It was a long way up as you can see. But what an amazing roof! it has been built on and built on over the centuries and the roofline was simply adjusted to suit it's new shape! The original place was over 500 years old! In fact if you look closely at the 2 right hand ground floor windows you can see the upper half appear to have blinds in them? Not so, that is the old kitchen and the light colour is the first floor on that side of the place. So that you get some idea of how much it has changed in the last few hundred years is an amazing place inside and the current owner has been restoring it for years and years!!!

So with the main blocks rebuilt and nice new dressed stone for the rain run off bits ( I have no idea what they are called but they are lovely stonework.)

And here is an entirely gratuitous squirrel I caught in the park at breakfast!

(The squirrel was breakfasting, you won't find me eating lovely great big Breakfast Baguettes from the Cafe in the park I can assure you! No indeedy, the very thought!)