I am pleased to tell you that Stan will be home soon (indeed he may even be there now) his pelvis has some small fractures so he can fly after all. I tried to notify the Dominican Republic but nobody was anserin da fone! Hehehe. I think he might be cancellin the skydivin sessions, " I tried flying a couple of days ago, I will stick to planes for that from now on cuz Suzuki's aint so good at it!"

Funny tale, heard it before but it cheered me up so hopefully it should have a similar effect upon yourself?

This letter was sent to the principal's office after the school had sponsored a luncheon for the elderly.

An old lady received a new radio at the lunch as a raffle prize and was writing to say thank you.

This story is a credit to all humankind. Forward to anyone you know who might  need a lift today.
 

Dear Headmaster,

God bless you for the beautiful radio I won at your recent senior citizens luncheon.
I am 84 years old and live at the Sandyford Assisted Home for the Aged.
All of my family has passed away. I am all alone and I want to thank you  for your kindness to an old forgotten lady.
My roommate is 95 and has always had her own radio, but before I received one, she would never let me listen to hers, even when she was napping. The other day her radio fell off her bedside table and broke into a lot of pieces. It was awful and she was in tears.

She asked if she could listen to mine, and I told her to fuck off.

Thank you for that  opportunity.

Sincerely, Edna

Ya gotta love the old folks huh? Bless em.

You will probably be familiar with Stan from my recent piece on "Stanley man about Bridgwater" , he was due to be off in the near future to the Dominican Republic for a holiday and to attend 2 weddings which are happening out there soon.

That was until yesterday, now he is in hospital with general hurtings all over and a broken pelvis!

A car pulled out in front of him and he hit it then took off for an aerial tour without his bike, landing some way away with the broken pelvis causing him some amusement for sure!! Poor bastard, so I am asking you to send your best wishes (or you can just take the piss if you want) myself I signed his card and told him "NO SHAGGING!" (that is sex for those who might have various other connotations for the term)

So get better soon Stan, I miss you so much I am having to take the piss out of Sheffield, man of steel instead!

Mornin!  I went for a little outing this morning and took some pix, I hope you enjoy them. 

As I  stood here I saw that magical "flash of turquoise blue" I didn't know we had  Kingfishers here!

How do they pack so much into that little brown velvet cylinder? Amazing Bulrushes.

A wonderful old Silver Birch, yes I should have cropped out the streetlight! 

Is this great light or what?? Around 8:00am, slightly hazy but still great.

Don't fall in! It's cold and deep. (and frozen too)

Always makes a nice subject, hundreds of years old.

Stacks of old hand made roof tiles, love the patina of green!

Ahhh breakfast! Got the winter coat on too.

Just to give some idea of the strength and capability of the Badger, they dig through this stuff. I put the camera down the hole and hit the button, I couldn't see this detail from outside, amazingly difficult ground!

This is a tale of someone making an assumption and following it through safe in the knowledge that they are doing the right thing!

If you don't laugh out loud at this one, call the morgue and reserve a tray, because you are dead!

Always wear clean underwear in public, especially when working under your vehicle. From the Northwest Florida Daily News comes this story of a Crestview couple who drove their car to Walmart, only to have their car break down in the parking lot.
The man told his wife to carry on with the shopping while he fixed the car in the lot. The wife returned later to see a small group of people near the car; on closer inspection, she saw a pair of male legs protruding from under the chassis. Although the man was in shorts, his lack of underwear turned private parts into glaringly public ones.
Unable to stand the embarrassment, she dutifully stepped forward, quickly put her hand UP his shorts, and tucked everything back into place. On regaining her feet, she looked across the hood and found herself staring at her husband who was standing idly by.

The mechanic, however, had to have three stitches in his forehead. Pffffffft!

I had a day off today so I went for an overdue visit to see Mum!

The weather was fabulous, a real spring day with sunshine all day, no wind and it was warm!!  Don't ask me temperatures, I don't do them as a rule.

I took a small diversion from my usual route to see what was around to photograph when Gods critters conspired yet again!  As I drove along a quiet road with fields below me to the left, I saw two Pheasants, both in full glorious plumage, not six feet from the road and in direct sunlight too! Nowhere to pull over and another car up my arse, so no go. A little further along, A beautiful Buzzard eating what looked like a small rabbit in an open field not 10 feet from the road! I had to get this so I turned off and around and drove back, parking in a field entrance. I walked back on the opposite side of the road so as not to scare it, when it suddenly flew straight overhead!!! Goddamn it not again!!!!

Yes again.

The first blossom of the year in a hedgerow.

A Bloon!!

Say hello to Heather!

The first primroses too, in a Hedgerow.

Does this pine look lonesome?

Well that about wraps it for today, those feckin burds beat me again!!!

A man walks into a bar and asks for a beer. After drinking it, he looks his shirt pocket and asks for another beer.

After drinking that one, he looks in his shirt pocket again and asks for another beer.
This happens about another seven times before the bartender asks him,

"Why do you keep looking in your pocket?"
 
The man replies, "I have a picture of my wife in there."

"When she looks good, I'll go home!" (sorry, it just tickled me that's all)

hehehe, thank you Sambo!

I am sure you all remember Stan, man about Bridgwater. Well here is a small extract of a conversation in which he joined at work.

I am editing a DVD for a friend who's parents went on a Caribbean cruise and got the DVD which was produced by the Ships Photographer. His photo's are pretty good, his video's are the most boring thing in the world.  2 hours long!!!! I am tasked with reducing this to a much more watchable 30 minutes or so.

So I have asked Ness (who is the lady with the DVD) how I will know what bits to keep and what to bin?  She told me that somebody or other from a big soap is there and showed me  a picture of her (or indeed hers, I wont forget those in a hurry!)  it was at this point the Stan arrived, I said "I know what your Mum and Dad look like, I know what whoever it was looks like, is there anyone else I should keep an eye out for?"  "Oh yes "she said  "Tessa Sanderson is there as well" (Tessa was a world champion Athlete from the UK) "Ah yes "I said, "I remember her" 

Stan said, "well the javelin would be a dead giveaway, it will be easy to spot her with that!" Thank you Stan, thank you very feckin much! Hehehehehe

That was in way aimed at anyone other than the God of pains in the arse.

This whole MOT Test saga, which has meant a whole lot of sweat in one way and another just to be able to continue to go to work and pay tax????

Sam has been tireless (HAH!) in all the stuff he has done to LaLa, so major thanks were in order. But how? Then it struck me!  Sam has the kitchen from hell at mo as he has been sooo bizzy, so I went round there and cleaned the whole kitchen, lounge and BATHROOM!!

BELOW IS BEFORE!

NOW THATS MORE LIKE IT!

Thank you Sam, it was great to do something for you which would make difference to you, bless!

HI, my name is Rog, I break cars. At around 5.30  this morning I was travelling gently down the otherwise almost empty M5. About 3/4 of the way there I glanced down at the dials, took a second to translate what I saw into "HOLY SHIT!" The needle was moving up and off the dial. (Da Da Daaaaaaaaa!) I was less than a mile away from the junction so I coasted up the slip road, onto the roundabout, where it gave up the ghost! Pitch black, middle of nowhere junction! freezing cold. I stamped around and swore a lot tried calling Sam, no connection, lost his charger again! Try Tommy, ansafone on. Well I couldnt leave it there so it had to start up, eventually after much more swearing at the alarm remote, it did, it wasn'r happy about it though! I gently took it down the hill and turned into the entrance to a factory. That was as far as that car was gonna go!

So I shut it up, and started walking in the pitch black (for once my vizi vest was useful!) in the direction of work. I instantly resorted to the old default of hitching a ride, and got one! Thank you Ashleys Dad, you are a gentleman!

I worked until lunchtime and that was when Sam arrived with Da CROO! But that is another episode, stay tuned to this channel! Da Da Daaaaaaa!! Boom Tush!! When I got out of the LaLa tonite I noticed on the floor was Sam's charger!