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29 Juni Goin HomeJust wanted to share with you that after a 10 hour shift, the M5 was fucked both ways and so it then took me 2 hours plus to drive home.
I think that qualifies as a shit day. ( Though not as shitty as the folks in the crash that caused it all, of that I am certain) so even goin home gets subjective. Hmmmmm
Well as I am talking to myself I may as well shut up then. 19 Juni Chuckle time!I figured it was about time I raided the joke store so here we go.
Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing.
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favourite foods, secret fears, and hopes and dreams. A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
When you are blue, I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.
When you are confused, I will use little words.
When you are sick, stay the hell away from me until you are well again, I don't want whatever you have.
The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
I was reading this book today, 'The History Of Glue', and I just couldn't put it down.
I went into a shop and I said, "Can someone sell me a kettle." The bloke said "Kenwood" I said, "Where's he then?"
So I went in to a pet shop. I said, "Can I buy a goldfish?" The guy said, "Do you want an aquarium?" I said, "I don't care what star sign it is."
Well they made me larf anyway, if they don't do the same to you there's summat rong wi ya!
It's thunderin at the mo, having pissed down for most of the afternoon. The motorway looked like a big river, so much surface water!
Thank God I treated the windscreen to a dose of RainX, when all glass is permanently treated with that stuff at manufacture another raft of jobs will disappear!
Tesco's delivered just now, do you know there are a whole lot of chicken dishes and portions that have just gone from their shelves. I wonder why that would be?? Hmmmmmmmm.
More drivel amusing or otherwise later, for now it's food time! Woo Hooo!
17 Juni Do you think you're stupid?A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks they're stupid, stand up!"
After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up. The teacher said,
"Do you think you're stupid, Little Johnny?"
"No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!"
Happy Fathers Day to all those who have enjoyed being a dad.
I phoned the local ramblers club today and this bloke just went on and on and on.
So I phoned the local gym and I asked if they could teach me how to do the splits. He said, "How flexible are you?" I said, "I can't make Tuesdays or Thursdays." Tommy Cooper gags, my Dad loved him, me too! 13 Juni It's LINKS time! (Dodge been stumblin again)OK folks, I am sure some see this as cheating, I see it as giving you something to check out which the Dodgemeister has certified as worthy of your attention.
http://video.stumbleupon.com/?p=gv1maxrmhv Avalanche run, amazing short snowboard clip
http://video.stumbleupon.com/?p=oqq1c3j9jn Good Beatles video "Revolution" Nice one.
http://video.stumbleupon.com/?p=ygehtpkpxh Fantastic motorcycle hill climbs!!!! (that is what I call a hill)
http://video.stumbleupon.com/?p=w6gb8lawdo It's another noo blooo men vid! These guys are just so good, go see.
http://video.stumbleupon.com/?p=s30j28j2dq Amazing helmet camera, bikes flyin down a mountain track, GREAT.
(Scared the bejayzus out of me anyway.)
How do you rate them? I mean does it get any more eclectic than this? A Beatles vid for Revolution, motorbikes flyin up impossible hills, bicycles flyin down impossible mountains, some serious snowboard stuff aaaaaand a NEW Blue Men vid!!!!!!!
06 Juni SorryApologies to all interested parties, currently every time I try to paste the URL for my video clip, MSN says that my space is not currently available so all the text below dont mean much till they accept it as suitable is it? Grrrrrrrrrrrrr!
"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go. -- Oscar Wilde"
Thank you Strider 52 for that great quote and lots of other groovy stuff. (did he just say groovy??)
Here is a superb link of a tornado. Go look at it.
Current video clip. THIS IS NOT A STOOPID JOKE!
Please turn up you volume and see if anyone can tell me what the hell is making that rather low frequency whoop type birdsong?? I don't have a clue and wasn't fully aware of it at the time but on playback it sounds very "tropical" to me?? Any clues will be gratefully received!
Hope you like the sunrise shots and stuff (there has to be some sort of positive to gettin up at 4am!!) I know there was somethin else I wanted to babble on about but as usual it eludes me at the moment. Got it! Further chariteee shop browsing has paid off handsomely with another Christopher Brookmyre book! Hooray, I love the fact that you can spot his covers from 20 paces and home in quick before some other bugger grabs it! (The other day I was browsing the bookshelves in on of my local chariteee'z when I saw this bloke come in, as he walked over towards the bookshelves he was having the following conversation on his mobile, sad shite!
"Yeah, I'm in Bernado's now I will tell you what they've got" at which point he started rattling off virtually every friggin title on the shelves and discussing what might be good for this bloke or that girl or whatever, I mean, WTF?? He then proceeded to "hoover off" the books and went to counter to pay for half a dozen, about a fiver in total, asking "Do you take plastic?" I would have taken his plastic, and shoved it up his arse! Where was I? Ahhh yes the title of the Brookmyre masterpiece? All his titles are wonderful anyway but this is something I can hear Billy Connolly saying as clear as day!
A big boy did it and ran away
I shall let you know what I think of it but it will be a glowing review for sure, this guy is just so original it's not fair! I can only be humbled in the presence of genius!
I haven't even opened it yet. Oh okay, here are the first lines just as a taster for you.
Things to do in stavanger when you're dead
SSCs. Death was too good for them.
Seriously.
These fuckers deserved to live forever. The sleepwalking suburban slave classes in their Wimpey mock-Tudor penal colonies. A jail that needed no walls because the inmates had been brainwashed into believing they wanted to be there.
ps don't think this is serious, it aint! Scottish humour at it's best, great stuff, good on ya!
later folks (please feel free to send cheques or indeed comments, all donations, textual or financial are always most welcome) hehehe |
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