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17 August It's a bit convoluted! (really? Not like me!) Well it started when Argos didn't collect Mum's old fridge when they should have. This led to me complaining long, often and loud and eventually they coughed up some vouchers by way of apology for her inconvenience. This meant that Mum and I were going for a trip to Argos to get her a new phone, a CORDLESS one! After a few false starts we got that sorted with BT "Big Button" jobby. Nice and simple so all is well. (or so it seemed) This was last Tuesday. On Thursday I saw a missed call on my mobile, it was from Mum. (she Never Ever calls my mobile) I tried to return the call, she was engaged: tried on and off all day to get her, engaged every time. By the time I got home after work I was getting a bit concerned so I called the Cops! Explained the situation and was very pleased to hear that they would call me back, which they did in about 20 minutes. No reply from the door, can't see in cos she got nets etc do I want them to break in? Aarrgh! Erm......... No I will come down there. (50 miles back the way I just came) 30 miles later I got a call from the cops " She is fine, she just got off the coach outside her house" Thank god for that, where had she been? She had been on a day trip to Weston super Mare, that's where I live!!!
Don't ask why she called me, she just kept saying "I didn't press any buttons, I just took it off the charger" It was "off the hook" all day. I stayed the night anyway (I was too bleedin knackered to do anythin else! After a dreadful night cos I forgot me sleepin pills, I left at about 4.45 this morning to go to work and stopped at a 24 hour lay-by caravan thingy just next to the M5. I had never seen it in the dark before; please conjure up a picture of the following scene. A lay-by with an open serving hatch type caravan wiv a bloke in it. Nice chap, had a chat while my soss and eggs were cookin up, when it was all done I took the paper plate and walked towards my motor when I saw the following tableau. 3 wooden tables straddling the kerbstones and the lay-by. Each one with a clean blue and white gingham pattern table cloth, one of them was under one of those "Tent like gazebo thingies" which was strung with lights, a selection of plastic chairs was present and as my gaze dropped to the edge of the verge, I saw two small flower beds with little bits and pieces in em and a mirror? Two little feeding bowls had been fashioned out of wood for bread crumbs for the burdeez and a sign had been written which said the immortal words "Fag ends don't grow!" How surreal was that at 5 am???
Oh and where was the Gypsy violinist then? Cheapskates! hehehehe 10 August Any old excuse will do Mom!
01 August A funny TRUE story G'day mates! A funny thing happened in the midst of the incredible chaos that is the working day for the old Dodgemeister these days. A new agency lady from parts foreign, was taking a pallet of stuff to pick in the wrong area. After trying without success to explain where she should have been taking it a colleague spotted a long standing chap also from parts foreign and asked him if would be so kind as to translate for the lady what was required. After a brief (and meaningless) exchange with the lady he said "sorry I can't, she speaks a foreign language" I howled at this. there was the initial assumption that because she was foreign, another foreigner would understand her, simply by dint of the fact that he was also foreign! (One was from Lithuania and the other from Poland.) It was rather like the "If they don't understand you, say it LOUDER!" I was in tears and had to go away for a while to calm myself. Did you know that there is a big Hoo Ha going on about a stretch of motorway between Poland and Lithuania which it seems is upsetting the greens and the EU ( welcome aboard, hehehe) The Rospuda Valley is apparently a bog wiv speshul mud and everythin and dirty great roads goin froo it aint what the doctor ordered! So there, now you know. Astound your friends with your nollij of woss goin on an that. Hope you like the pix, the odd workshoppy ones were an old wheelrights place a couple of days before it was all auctioned off. Good luck to him and his missus on the narrow boat they now call home! |
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